今天上午进行期末考试的最后一场英语，拿到试卷后翻看了一下题目，发现完形填空的文章似乎看过，好一激动，开始以为是《试题调研》上的题目，后来越想越不对，对了！是《英语文摘》上的文章！更加激动的是，阅读的D篇显然是安南在他卸任前联合国日的讲话，也是《英语文摘》上的，而且经过查询是在同一期上：2006年12期。
其实，作为完形填空的《让冥王星出局！》这篇文章写得很好，从冥王星的命运联想到相隔4年两次入主白宫的克利夫兰、熊猫类别、欧洲归属和Y是否是元音等问题。幸运的是，我在TIME上找到了这篇《Get Pluto out of Here!》。可惜网络上还没有翻译版本。这篇文章所使用的词语和遣词方式的确很优秀，作为试题很恰当。我又翻看了好几遍，实在觉得这篇文章无论从遣词造句还是内容寓意方面都很优秀，所以我把《英语文摘》上的中文翻译打到电脑上，发上来，也算尽一份心了。若要转载请表明来源：泊客Myheimu。
Get Pluto out of Here!让冥王星出局！
Sunday, Aug. 20, 2006 By JEFFREY KLUGER
（陈文炳 翻译自Time Aug.20,2006）
（泊客Myheimu 录入自《英语文摘》2006年12期）
Why it’s not a plant,Europe is no continent and W. isn’t “43”
为什么冥王星不是一个行星，欧洲不是一个洲，小布什也不是第43任总统
History has no record of Grover Cleveland and Grover Cleveland ever sitting down together. That’s odd, since the two Presidents occupied the Oval Office just four years apart–Cleveland from 1885 to 1889, and Cleveland following him there in 1893. Had it not been for the four years Benjamin Harrison served as President between them, the country could have transitioned from one Cleveland to the other without even changing the monogrammed bathrobe in the White House residence.
历史没有格罗弗·克利夫兰和格罗弗·克利夫兰曾经坐在一起的记录。这很奇怪，因为这两任总统入主白宫椭圆形办公室只相隔4年：前一位克利夫兰总统任期从1885至1889年，后一位克利夫兰总统则从1893年当起。要不是本杰明·哈里森在这两位之间插进去当了4年的总统的话，那么美国就可以从这位克利夫兰总统过渡到另一位克利夫兰总统甚至无须更换白宫总统卧室里绣有姓名首字母的睡袍了。
Had Cleveland and Cleveland ever spoken, it would have been a decidedly one-way conversation, since they were the same man. But you wouldn’t know it from American history books. Right there in the great march of Presidents, from Washington at No. 1 to Bush at 43, is Cleveland clocking in at 22 and then again–like a presidential whack-a-mole–at 24. We’re a country with 43 Presidents, but only 42 men have held the job. The two President Bushes affectionately refer to each other by the nicknames 41 and 43, but the fact is, they’re really 40 and 42.
如果克利夫兰和克利夫兰曾经对过话，那无疑只能是自说自话，因为他们是同一个人。不过，诸位无法从美国的历史书上了解到这一点。就在那堂皇的从第1任华盛顿到43任布什的美国总统排行表里，克利夫兰被记录为第22任总统，然后，犹如“打地鼠”游戏中又冒出头的鼹鼠一样，在下台4年后重又当上了第24任总统。我们美国共有43任总统，但只有42人出任过。两位布什总统亲切地称对方为“41号”和“43号”，其实，他们是“40号”和“42号”。
It was last week’s coverage of the controversy concerning the planet Pluto that brought Cleveland to mind (and, no, not because of his physique; that was Taft). Much the way 19th century pundits no doubt fought over which numeral to assign the inconveniently nonconsecutive Cleveland, astronomers have spent the past few years debating whether or not Pluto is in fact a planet or whether new findings place it in a family of smaller, humbler objects. The problem is more complex than just firing a planet and downsizing the solar system from nine to eight. If you keep your definitions loose enough to retain Pluto, then you have to award the planet label to at least three similar objects in our solar system. Think Congress gets into a slapfest over the problem of immigrant workers? That’s civil compared with astronomers’ catfights over immigrant worlds.
正是上星期有关行星冥王星争议的报道，才让人想起了克利夫兰（当然不是应为他肥胖的身躯，要论肥胖，当数塔夫脱总统）。克利夫兰中间断开了4年再当总统，平添了许多麻烦。19世纪的权威专家先生们毫无疑问为他的总统编号而激烈地争论过。与此相同的是，当代的天文学家在过去的几年里也一直为冥王星争论不休：它到底是不是行星，或天文学上的新发现是否应将其归到那些体积较小、等级较低的天体中去。可是问题远比取消冥王星的行星资格、把太阳系行星从9颗减少到8颗要复杂得多。如果你继续使行星的定义保持宽泛，让冥王星留下来，那么太阳系里起码还有3颗类似的天体也得获得行星的称号。想起国会为外来移民工的问题而闹得不可开交了吧？比起天文学家们围绕行星去留的争吵，那算是文雅的了。
So let’s be clear: Pluto has to go. Clean out your locker, turn in your playbook and go see the coach. Oh, and on your way out, tell the other walk-ons and wannabes that the roster is frozen. We’re sticking with the original eight.
所以，我们要明白：冥王星必须出局。清干净你的锁柜，交出比赛手册，然后和教练说再见。当然，离开时你还得告诉那些替补队员和还想挤进来的，花名册已经被冻结。我们仍然认定原有的那8颗行星。
There’s sound scientific reason to return the solar system to what it was before Pluto the poseur was discovered in 1930. True planets form in roughly the equatorial plane of the sun, occupying specific, permanent orbits. That’s not Pluto. It is a tiny joyrider from the rubble stream surrounding the solar system that broke free and orbits the sun in a tilted, elongated orbit.
把太阳系的概念退回到1930年冥王星这颗多事的星体被发现前，这是有坚实的科学根据的。真正的行星生成于太阳赤道面及其附近，占有特定的、永久的轨道。冥王星并非如此。它是从围绕太阳系而又自由浮动的一堆剩余物中游走出来的一颗星。它体积微小，以倾斜、细长的轨道围着太阳运转。
But astronomers don’t see things so simply. Instead, they’ve appointed a committee that met in Paris in June and July and drafted a proposed solution that defines a planet by shape, center of orbital gravity and more. Committees and clarity don’t go together, and the proposal is just what critics feared: science as tax code, with the cosmos codified in such elaborate ways that, never mind nine planets, we could end up with dozens.
可天文学家并不如此简单地考虑问题。相反，他们任命了一个委员会，于六七月间在巴黎开会，起草了一份解决问题的议案。以形状、轨道重力中心等等界定行星。有了委员会并不意味着真能把问题厘清，而所提出的建议正式批评者们所担心的：科学成了税则一样的东西，宇宙被如此煞费苦心地加以分类、定义，以至不要说9颗行星，几十颗我们也可以有。
It’s this kind of overthinking that leads not just to the cosmic sloppiness of a crowded solar system but also to the existential absurdity of counting Cleveland twice. You don’t have to be a stickler to want to heed the dictum of William of Ockham, the 14th century monk who famously declared, “Things should not be multiplied unnecessarily,” which is how they said “Less is more” back then. So in honor of Ockham, let’s dispense with a few other stubborn, definitional problems once and for all.
就是因为此类的多思，不仅导致了有关挤满星体的太阳系概念上的混乱，也导致了把克利夫兰数两遍的存在的荒谬。诸位用不着认死理，也会听从14世纪修士奥卡姆那句众所周知的名言：“如无必要，切勿增加实质。”这也是当时的人们对“少即多”的表述。处于对奥卡姆的尊敬，还是让我们一劳永逸地解决掉其他一些顽固的定义问题。
Europe: you’re not a continent; you’ve never been a continent. I know, it would be galling if a raw cowboy island like Australia retained its glittery Continent label while you were downgraded to Midsize Peninsula of Western Asia. But hello? Look at a map. Besides, these days you’ve got the euro, which is currently trading at about a buck thirty against the dollar. Don’t be greedy.
欧洲：你不能称为一个洲，你从来也不是一个洲。本人知道，如果一块像澳大利亚那样为牛仔们居住的荒蛮岛屿能保住堂皇的洲的称号，而你却要降格为西亚的一块中等大小的半岛，确是令人恼怒的。但那有什么办法呢？看一看地图就明白了。再说，如今你有了欧元，眼下1个欧元能兑换1.3美元。知足吧。
Y: a vowel? Please. Y gets plenty of work as a consonant without having to moonlight in a job it wasn’t designed for. Someone needs to show some guts and either change the spelling of problem words (what’s wrong with fli, cri, cript?) or relax the rule about every word having to have at least one vowel in it. Either way is fine, but the whole “sometimes y” thing has always smelled like a dodge.
Y：是元音？对不起，恐怕不是。Y作为一个辅音有许多用场而无须再做些原本并非为它设计的事。哪位要是有胆量，就把那些麻烦单词的拼写改一下（为啥fly，cry，crypt不能改写成fli，cri，cript？），或者放宽每个英文单词中必须包含至少一个元音的语音规则。改变拼法或放宽语音规则，哪种方法都行，不过，“Y有时也是元音”这种做法至今有敷衍塞责的味道。
Panda: raccoon or bear? Seems the lesser known red panda has a scrap of raccoon in him, which has thrown the whole panda clan into question. I say split the difference: go with bears for the white ones, raccoons for the red ones, and do it quick. (These are biologists we’re dealing with, not astronomers. Give them too much time, and they’ll start dissecting things.) And if we ever find yet another type of panda out there, just call it Grover Cleveland. There are plenty of those to go around.
熊猫：属于浣熊家族还是熊家族？看起来是那些知名度底些的小熊猫身上带有一些浣熊的特征，从而使整个熊猫家族的身份产生了问题。我看还是折衷一下：白色的属于熊，红色的属于浣熊，并且赶紧把此事做完（因为我们这是在跟生物学家而不是天文学家打交道。如果给他们太多的时间，他们会动手解剖的。）如果我们以后再发现另一种类型的熊猫，就干脆称它为格罗弗·克利夫兰吧。这样的名字很多，足够用来分配的了。
另外一篇《Secretary-General’s Message On United Nations Day》（《联合国秘书长在联合国日的讲话》）自然好找得很，在UN网站上就有全篇英文文章，它的中文版就更好找了，UN中文站的《秘书长联合国日献词》就是了，“六种工作语言”不是白说的。比较“搞笑”的是，我们的阅读题中问道：共讲了几个成就？从UN网站上的文章很容易看出是5个——有项目符号呀！可是试卷上堆在一起，很容易把话头“Over the past 10 years, we have made some big steps forward in our common struggle for development, security and human rights. ”当作其中之一。
《Secretary-General’s Message On United Nations Day》
For the tenth and last time as Secretary-General, I offer friends and colleagues around the world my best wishes on United Nations Day. I have spent almost my whole professional life working for the United Nations – so this day, and the values that it stands for, will always be special for me.
Over the past 10 years, we have made some big steps forward in our common struggle for development, security and human rights.
- Aid and debt relief have increased, making the world economy somewhat fairer.
- At last, the world is scaling up its response to HIV/AIDS.
- There are fewer wars between States than there used to be; and many civil wars have ended.
- More Governments are elected by, and accountable to, the people whom they govern.
- And all States have acknowledged, at least in words, their responsibility to protect people from genocide, war crimes, ethnic cleansing and crimes against humanity.
But, there is so much that still needs doing:
- The gap between rich and poor continues to grow.
- Very few countries are on track to reach all eight of the Millennium Development Goals by 2015.
- Many people still face atrocities, repression and brutal conflicts.
- The nuclear non-proliferation regime requires urgent attention.
- Terrorism, and the reaction to it, are spreading fear and suspicion.
It seems we don’t even agree which threats are most important. Those who live in small islands may see global warming as the biggest danger. Those who live in a city that has suffered terrorist attacks – like New York, or Mumbai, or Istanbul – may feel that confronting terrorism is more urgent. Others, again, may cite poverty, disease, or genocide.
The truth is, these are all global threats. All of us should be concerned about all of them. Otherwise, we may not succeed in dealing with any of them.
At this time of all times, we cannot afford to be divided. I know that you, the peoples of the world, understand this. Thank you for all the support and encouragement you have given me, throughout these 10 difficult but exciting years.
Please urge your leaders to work with my successor, and make the United Nations ever stronger and more effective.
Long live our planet, and its peoples. Long live the United Nations!
值此联合国日，我第十次、也是最后一次作为秘书长，向世界各地的朋友、同事们致以最良好的祝愿。我几乎毕生任职于联合国，故这一天及其所代表的价值，将始终对我意义非凡。
在过去十年中，我们在实现发展、安全和人权的共同奋斗中取得了一些长足进展。
- 援助和债务减免规模扩大，令世界经济较趋公平。
- 全世界终于在加强对艾滋病毒/艾滋病的应对措施。
- 国家间的战争比以往减少；许多内战业已结束。
- 更多的政府由其所治理的人民选出，并对他们负责。
- 所有国家至少在言词上承认，它们有责任保护人民免遭灭绝种族罪、战争罪、族裔清洗和危害人类罪。
然而，需做之事依然任重道远：
- 穷富差距继续扩大。
- 将要在2015年之前达到所有八个千年发展目标的国家寥寥无几。
- 很多人仍然遭遇暴行、镇压和野蛮冲突。
- 核不扩散机制迫切需加关注。
- 恐怖主义以及对它的反应，到处令人心生恐惧和疑虑。
似乎我们竟无法就何为最严重的威胁取得一致。生活在小岛屿上的人们可能认为全球升温为最大的危险。生活在像纽约、孟买或伊斯坦布尔这种经历过恐怖主义袭击的城市中的人们，可能会感到打击恐怖主义更为紧迫。其他人还会提到贫穷、疾病或灭绝种族罪。
事实上，所有这些都是全球性威胁。我们全体应关注所有这些威胁。否则，我们也许无法战胜任何一种威胁。
在这关键时刻，我们切不可分裂。我深知你们世界各国人民懂得这一点。感谢你们在这艰难但令人激奋的十年中给我的所有支持和鼓励。
请敦促你们各国的领导人与我的继任者合作，使联合国更加强大，更有效力。
祝我们的地球和它养育的各国人民永生不息。祝联合国万世永存！